relax sweetie, it’s okay to drool

Remember my last angsty post about The Shameful Truth About How Twilight Changed My Life? Well as promised here is the followup to that where I finally admit to myself that I like looking at Rob Pattinson.

At the beginning of this twilight love I swore I loved the saga because I loved Bella & Edward. For all the reasons I had mentioned in my last post was why I clung onto this series and kept reading it over and over until I wasn’t sure how many times I had read it but just wondered where in the reading cycle I was.

So now things are good. I feel worthy and Mr. TC and I are back to loving like bunnies again. So why am I still here in the blogosphere with all of you? Well, after a while of being immersed in this twilight world I slowly evolved to think of Rob Pattinson as Edward. The mental porn that is lemony fanfic did not help these matters out at all.

Mafia Prince Edward from Emancipation Proclamation

Somehow I am in denial that I like Rob Pattinson just because he is hot. It just seems so shallow for me to admit it and I’m not sure why. Even me writing the above phrase leaves me feeling juvenile and guilty as if I was a whistling construction worker ogling a woman on the street.

I feel like these men have no appreciation for a possible brilliant mind or that woman’s feelings but is just treating her as a sex object. Of course I like Rob’s adorkableness and self-deprecating awkward artsy character but I think I’d still like looking at him if he was a smooth cocky bastard.

All my original twilight merchandise always had Bella & Edward, never just Edward. I kept telling myself that I loved the love story part and not just him. Then things have now slowly evolved to the point where I can finally admit that I love Robward and, yes, Rob Pattinson can often make me drool and that’s okay.

I'm finally okay to go from buying this blanket

to buying this one

I am in no way judging anyone for their love of Rob or any other actor and have never judged anyone in the past. It has just been my own internal struggle with the idea. With my immersion into the twilight blogging world I’m finally allowing myself to openly feel it and enjoy it.

So keep up all the Rob pics, videos, and manips. I am happy to hold my head up high and put up just a picture of Rob in my banner instead of insisting it be Robsten. I watch videos of Rob on youtube without hiding in the bathroom. I’ll even drool over pictures of Rob when he is someone other than Edward.

Now, onto getting my hands on that new blanket…

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Comments
14 Responses to “relax sweetie, it’s okay to drool”
  1. Mrs. P says:

    Bravo, love! Besides the whole part of insisting on placing Bella on things my story is very similar…welcome to the dark side. XOXOXO

  2. Ginny says:

    I am so with you! I however have been out of the Rob closet for some time!
    It’s still a bit odd for me too though ~ I have never had a “star” crush ~ sure I have some favorites… based on talent… but even as a teen nothing like this.
    How is it that this man has my panties cummbusting with a smirk or run of his fingers thru that hair… ahhh ~ those fingers…mmmm… umm… where was I? Oh yeah ~
    As Mrs.P said ~ welcome ~ if this is the dark side… I’m staying here!

  3. Twired Jen says:

    Oh man…where do I begin? It should be a post, so I’ll keep it short in case I do want to blog about it later on…I only fell in love with Robert Pattinson because of his character Edward Cullen. I admit that 100%. I don’t know how or what I would have felt seeing him in a movie, had he never been “Edward Cullen.” However, I have grown to love Robert Pattinson on his own. I will forever be a HUGE Robward fan though. It’s an association I just can’t separate sometimes. It sounds delusional, but it’s why I think I adore the idea of Robsten. I KNOW it’s NOT Bella & Edward…but…but…but…I think you prob get me.

    Anyhoo, great post!

    xoxo J

    • @Ginny I hae felt that way but writing it out feels better. Yes the hair and fingers…
      @Jen I am so guilty of thinking of Rob as Edward. That’s why I have trouble thinking about him in other movies. Remember I didn’t know if I could go to the theatre? That’s the reason. I’m in denial that he is anybody else.

  4. Jelena@Twiholic says:

    I think most of us have some kind of perception of who Rob is, which is why we’ve grown to love him. I don’t think it’s just because he looks good. Yes, when I saw Twilight I thought he was cute, but he did nothing for me. It’s only after a while, after I had been bombarded with pictures of Rob all over the blogosphere that I finally started seeing something in him. And then, hearing him speak casually, in interviews, in that British accent of his, just sealed my fate. I think it’s that way for everyone. We’re not just ogling him for his good looks like construction workers. We care about the things he says and does. So don’t feel bad.

    I personally do not have the hots for him. I like all the beautiful manips, wallpapers, videos, and especially photoshoots. I love art and I love fashion, and therefore I love looking at those photos. Mind you, I don’t find every photo of Rob delicious, but there are some photos that I look at and start feeling all tingly inside – but not the point where I would want to own him.

    Personally, I find all of Twilight cast to be extremely hot: Peter, Kellan, Kristen, Nikki, Ashley, Jackson, Billy, Taylor, Rachelle, Cam of course, Rob. The only one who does nothing for me is Elizabeth (that’s her name right, the woman who plays Esme?). She’s cute, but she’s not a hotie. I look at photos of Ashley the same way I look at those of Rob. She’s mind blowingly sexy, and that one photo shoot of her and Rachelle, was just panty wetting. 😀

    • I agree that the girls are hot too. We have the Maxim with Ashley’s shoot and I love Nikki’s pics too but much better as her real brunette self. The PFach butt shot is awesome as well.

  5. First, hi! Second, I can sort of relate to this. My story is that I read the books before I knew who was in the movie (although this was just last March and the dvd was about to come out), and I just loved the Bella and Edward story–I’m quite open about my Edward love lol. I really only saw Robert Pattinson as this actor that played Edward and it was Edward that I was in love with! I had seen Rob in the magazines and stuff but didn’t really take a second glance at his personal life. It wasn’t until I saw him in interviews where I discovered he wasn’t just another young hollywood actor falling in the Chace Crawford/Zac Efron category. I thought he was way endearing, like he had actual substance to him. So you know, now I still love Edward, but Rob isn’t bad either 😉

    By the way, I’ve been able to catch up on a lot of your posts this weekend, I LOVE your dinner party idea. I may just have to steal it for my own birthday this year. Additionally, I’m thinking about proposing the idea of a mother daughter trip to Forks for Mother’s Day. I wonder if my mom will go for it lol

    • Hi Sparkle,

      Please feel free to borrow my dinner ideas and send me photos of what you did. I loved doing it and everyones asking me about a NM party or Eclipse one too. Yes, he has substance and he seems really genuine to the point of being flustered and saying all sorts of gibberish. I have to watch the Today show from this am still.

  6. Amy says:

    Interestingly enough, I think I’ve always been Rob fan rather than Robward. His performance in Twilight definitely peaked my interest, but it wasn’t until I saw him in interviews that I became officially Robsessed. There were plenty of points in the books/movie where Edward bugged me. When he gave his whole “This is the skin of a killer Bella!” I was thinking, “Girl! That means get the hell outta there!” lol

  7. RunningYogi says:

    Hi…not sure how to address you? TC? Real name? Sorry, not familiar with online etiquette. But I feel I need to comment on your on-line life, and discovering this side of you. This blogging has really allowed you to explore and reveal more facets of you. I’m not even sure I recognize you anymore, given that these are the thoughts that are running through your mind. Not that it’s bad, just unexpected. I’m really impressed that you’ve had the courage to really lay it out there, for so many to see, and really embraced the changes to your life. I’m not really so much thinking about it being the world of Twilight that has started the ball rolling on this road to self-discovery, but that you’ve hit this point in your life where you are discovering so much about yourself as an individual and your sexuality as a woman. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you’ve just been so busy, non-stop your whole life, with becoming a doctor, getting married and having children at such a young age. You haven’t had time, or the mental and emotional space, to just be with yourself and explore who you are. Maybe it has to do with being older now and learning about yourself, and fully accepting and embracing everything about yourself. Regardless, good for you and I’m definitely going to keep reading your blog. Not only b/c it’s so much fun to read, but because it gives me a chance to continue to get to know you as you’re growing and blossoming (like a flower petal blooming – Bikram dialog, sorry had to, couldn’t resist). As you know, I understand all about obsessions. It would take an act of God, (or an ankle injury, or stress fracture, knock on wood) to keep me from exercising every day. OK, a major guilt trip from my kids would do it too. Btw, does your mom read your blog? Or any of your other female relatives? I think 5E would really crack up, and my mom would really freak out. But then again, my mom probably would not have the patience to read the whole thing to begin with. OK, late now, and I want to get up to fit in a weight workout before 5 am. Love you.

    • Hi RunningYogi. TC works on here but many people know me as Jen anyways. Thank you for your lovely comments. I keep forgetting that I have family reading this and don’t know well enough to be too embarrassed to write this stuff. I really hope my parents aren’t reading this. My mom would likely side with yours and be mortified. Maybe the one aunt would be okay and find it funny.
      I see you have also had a self discovery the last few years and you seem happier and fitter of course. Although these really are diversions away from our husbands and kids I agree that it’s needed. You also were very dedicated to your work and worked long hours and had 2 kids. Now that we’ve both backed off our work to saner levels makes sense we are growing up and out of our shells. I have no Bikrams analogy to share here 😉 Love you always and come visit with the kids!

  8. smartEpantz says:

    Hey TC! Thanks for this post, this is a topic that I have pondered since…well, since I read Twilight I guess. I am very young in my Twilife. I read the books for the first time last September, and waited to watch the first movie until I finished the book (i’m really anal about reading books before i see the movies) so i could fully appreciate it.
    While reading the books, I fell immediately head over heels for Edward. Not just Edward and Bella and eternal love that knows no bounds and all that junk, but Edward in particular. Honestly, there were times when I just wanted to smack Bella…but I digress. The thing is, I already knew that Rob was the actor dude who played that vampire thingy guy before I read the books, so I naturally inserted Rob’s likeness while imagining Edward. I didn’t swoon over Rob at all before I read the saga. In fact I actually remember saying to someone that I didn’t see why everyone was so gaga over the bloke. I actually threw mags and such with him in them away!! **gasp**
    Fast forward to the day I watched the movie…I’ll spare you by not giving a personal review, but THAT WAS THE DAY!!! The day IT happened. The day mine eyes were opened to the pure and utter loveliness that is Rob. I’m pretty sure I audibly gasped when he came onscreen.
    And now? Well I’d like to say that what happened was a fleeting crush and then have a good laugh at my silly self and move on with my life. Unfortunately, I cannot say that. That would be a lie of epic proportions. The truth is that it seems like my infatuation grows nearly every day. So….do I love Edward, or do I love Rob…??? Both. For different reasons. I think I love Edward for who he is to Bella and I love Rob for just being who he is. And he’s hot.
    Now I’m drowning in FF and don’t want to come up for air!! Luckily, my hubs has been supportive so far…but what do I do when he says ENOUGH ALREADY???!!! I mean, it’s not like I can just flip a switch and turn this thing off. Help?
    OMG I didn’t realize I had so much to say…I’ll shut up now!! Thanks for listening to me rant.
    🙂
    E

  9. I agree with your comments Erin. All of them. 🙂

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