Putting the ‘O’ in the Olympics

The 2010 Olympics are coming. They’re just up the street. Literally. The TODAY show will begin broadcasting from our local mountain on Tues Feb 9th. Matt Lauer will be going by my house any day now and I’m sure I won’t know.

There have been truckloads of stuff going by for these important Americans and I haven’t noticed or cared.

I honestly haven’t been that excited about it. Until this weekend when 17foreverLisa mentioned Pierce and Rob on the Today show talking about Remember Me I was in a bit of denial. Suddenly I was struck with the realization that with Matt Lauer and Al Roker might come other celebrities. I have tried in vain today to find the Today show guest list for the rest of the month but I guess they don’t post that sort of thing too early. Then it wouldn’t be current enough to be called the TODAY show would it. Sigh…I’ll have to settle for Michael Buble having a free concert in my backyard.

In addition to the celebrities come athletes. Is it sad that I’m not impressed by any of them except the figure skaters? Even the hockey players don’t get me excited. You know why? I’ve been too busy looking at this.

New Eclipse Stills

It’s also sad that Mr. TC spent thousands of dollars on Olympics tickets but I don’t know what events I’m going to. I can, however, tell you when RPattz will be on TV (March 1st or 2nd on Jimmy Fallon and the View) and also what magazine KStew is currently gracing the cover of (Vanity Fair).

It’s downright pathetic that I received an email this morning from a dear relative who loves my blog but was asking politely if I needed an intervention. So for dearest PJ, I’m quite happy to have Rob and his twilight world shoved up my ass for now and don’t feel like having it removed just yet but thanks for asking. I love you too sweetie! (truly :))

The one thing that has caught my attention with these Olympics is the sheer volume of people coming to town. We are expecting 5,000 athletes and officials plus 10,000 media members. The Vancouver HostCity website claims 2.3 million attendees. What? Is that number for real?

Somehow Captain Condom and the Safegames crew handing out 250,000 condoms in 2 weeks doesn’t seem like enough anymore. It seems that more people in town means big business for sex. I guess all those nubile young’uns with their drunken debaucles in the street will need a good safe outlet.

One of the best sex shops in town is called Womyn’s Ware

No, that's not me

and they’re offering a special Olympics promotion.

Their special Olympics penis-rings

• 10% discount to all event ticket holders
• free Sex Toy Guide (with $5 coupon) to all accredited press
• Podium Product: Free Clit Pod to all gold, silver and bronze medal winners! It’s like a little mini Canadian Touque souvenir!!
• Lube Luge Special: Free Slip Kit to registered lugers

I kid you not! Good thing I have event tickets, always nice to get a good discount.

But sadly I don’t think they carry this sparkle peen previously posted about on Twitarded many moons ago

Wonder if it comes perpetually cold too "shivers"

The number of people coming to town also has many wondering

How many Olympics fans are Twihards too?

I honestly couldn’t find a single site on Twilight and the Olympics together. I expected some of the twilight tour people in town to have some kind of promotion targeting, you know, us crazy twihard folk. But I found nothing. I’m not sure if this is the Olympics people shutting them down (has been known to happen around these parts) or just lack of foresight and planning on their parts.

After my epic forest hike to the Break Up Log for Mrs. P. at Twibite last week I wondered how many people will be coming to my neighbourhood trying to find the same thing? After all, out of 2.3 million attendees there have to be some twilight fans. I mean there is figure skating happening here and with figure skating comes moms and teenage girls. The key twilight market.

Chances are high that if you like this, you also like...

this.

If anyone knows of anything twilight related in town for the next couple of weeks, let me know what I’m missing. I’m sure there are a few out of you out there who may be coming out to Vancouver very soon who would appreciate more info too.

Or maybe you crazies are just saving your flight out for Forks in September with the Twitarded crew 🙂 or to see if they will film Breaking Dawn here. If you do come to Vancouver give me a buzz. After all, you wouldn’t want to miss Mrs. P. in her nightie.

Of note, I will be cross-posting a nice clean version of this post to Mr. TC’s blog Average Traveller (you’re first on my blogroll honey).

Sometimes clean can be refreshing

Go check it out (and no my clean post isn’t up yet, still need to take a shower and get rid of the Sparkle Peen). That blog comes from the more sane side of the bed but I might give myself a quick rinse and head over there once a while to give my two cents. I’ll let you ladies know when I do.

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Comments
7 Responses to “Putting the ‘O’ in the Olympics”
  1. Mrs. P says:

    This was hilarious…I couldn’t believe the Olympics cock ring sex toy!!! LMAO!!! There will probably be a lot of people stomping through the woods looking for the same exact spot you so brilliantly captured for me…I still tear up when I think about it.

    Thank goodness you got there when you did!!

  2. Great post . . . again!! I cannot believe they seriously have Olympic colored condoms and sex toys. I am so out of the loop (pun intended). I still can’t believe you are so close to the action AND have the tickets that you do and are just now getting a little excited about it. FML!

  3. Twired Jen says:

    LOVED your post! So glad I found your site. That’s what happens when you hang with peeps like Mrs. P, Lisa & Poptarrts. 😉
    Looking forward to following you. Gosh now I have like 7 mandatory blogs that I must check multiple times a day…sooo stressful, but so worth it!

  4. @Mrs. P – Welcome to BC – things are quite laid back up here. You’d think everyone was smoking weed and making free love all the time. It is hard to find the break up log and I am so pleased that you still think happy thoughts about it. There is definitely a reason we don’t show tourists up there – uphill hike, actually in the forest, possible lions & tigers & bears oh my (well the bears and wolves at least)
    @17foreverlisa I always get excited by the Olympics when I watch it on TV. I think it just hasn’t hit me yet that it is here. Mostly we’re all a bit miffed that all our streets are closed and there is no parking. I’m missing work for a few days because my commute is going from 30 minutes to almost 2 hours so hence I’m losing a fortune paying a replacement.
    Whoops, sorry for the rant. But yes, I am officially getting excited as I think Matt Lauer will be broadcasting from above my house in a few hours. And I passed up the chance to sell my Opening Ceremony tickets so I’ll be there on Friday. Yeah!
    @Twired Jen Thanks! I’m happy to have you here and even better that you might actually enjoy the Vancouver posts. Btw, my post for tomorrow (well very soon) might have you interested…you’ll have to see 😉

  5. dangrdafne says:

    As an Olympics loving freak – I can’t even imagine thinking of selling Opening Ceremony tickets! I would LOVE to see anything Olympic oriented, but opening or closing ceremonies, wow! I am sooooo jealous. Please take pictures and post or email to me. I even said today that I will be less than paying attention to Mad Libs and Twitter this Friday and then everything else while the Olympics are on. I watch everything I can whenever I can. I love it. Did I mention how jealous I am? 😉

  6. @Dangrdafne and @17foreverlisa – you guys are so excited about the Olympics. We should switch places. I was thinking of doing a “win olympics stuff” contest on the blog but didn’t know if anyone would want anything like that – thoughts?

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